Permissive Parenting: Best Interest of the Children?

A British court removed two boys, ages 11 and 14 from their 41 year old mother’s custody and placed them in the custody of their 43 year old father. Judge Laura Harris ruled that the mother had "significantly failed" the boys by her permissive parenting. She would sleep, use her Ipad or phone for hours at a time while her children would care for themselves. This caused issues for the children who were frequently late or would miss school. Additionally, mother was found to be systematically "poisoning" the children against their father. 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/10643643/Mother-loses-custody-battle-over-permissive-parenting-style.html

In California, similar to Judge Laura Harris in this case, courts will be reluctant to tell parents how to parent their children and will be tolerant of various parenting styles. If, however, the parenting is not in the best interest of the children or is causing the children harm, then courts will intervene. Also, "poisoning" or alienating the children against the other parent is also not in the best interest of the children and courts will tend to favor the parent they believe will foster the relationship between the children and the other parent.

California Child Custody: What's Going On? Is It Broken? How?

"Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear. "*

Last week, a Northern California newspaper published an extended piece, asserting, yet again, that the family law system is (quoting the cover headline) "helping pedophiles, batterers get child
custody".

While buried in the body of the piece was an acknowledgment that " it is impossible to say how common such cases are", that isn't exactly the same impression conveyed by the headline.

The same week, the Los Angeles Times ran a story regarding a psychiatrist/child custody evaluator in Los Angeles**. While that story was less obviously agenda-driven than the Northern California piece, it seemed short on well-verified facts, and long on "it is alleged, in documents filed with the court". Again, those authors implied that the problems that they referenced were systemic and pervasive. They offered no evidence for that implication.

There's little to offer.

The "studies" and "research" on the issues of the adequacy of the child custody/family court system in protecting children and victims of domestic violence, including those cited by outlets as reputable as Newsweek, are, if cited in support of any generalization about the system, are thin soup, perilously close to scientific junk.***

It may be that these problems are grossly under-reported, and systemic; my thirty-two years of practice makes me think otherwise, and leads me to conclude that the California system is actually quite child-centered, and victim-protective. I'm certainly unconvinced by the "studies", and by the information in the two articles. While I've railed about the lack of real objective information for nearly a decade, since the last such "scandal' erupted, the quality of the information has not yet noticeably improved.

The problems with the family law system are not, as far as I can tell, mostly the result of some system-wide bias or agenda; they're mostly from (a) the lack of adequate financial resources for the system to address these issues, and (b) the gross mis-allocation of resources within the judicial system. As I've said before, nobody ever successfully ran for statewide office in California on the platform: "I promise to spend more of your tax money on divorce court!"


* Ben Franklin, or E.A. Poe, or Marvin Gaye.

** Note that I have not provided links to the pieces above; they're here: "Helping" "Evaluator"
*** "That's not 'thin soup'. It's rat pee." Prof. Michael Shapiro.
"The plural of 'anecdotes' isn't 'data.' " Frank Kotsonis.